Inverse Relationships Involving Bartenders

There are always two kinds of people you'll see sitting alone at a bar.

1. The one who engages in friendly banter with the bartender and then orders a drink. After which, slips into a sort of meditative silence and takes a sip of his beer or whatnot now and then.

2. The second kind will be the one who comes into the bar all quiet and meek. The following may then happen before, during or after ordering the drink. He will then proceed to engage in friendly banter with the bartender afore pouring his heart out to the bartender, soul and all. By the end of that one drink and several more, the bartender will learn of the number of dogs he had, the troubling boss/wife/girlfriend at work/home/dates respectively and even of the fungus growing in between his toes.

The kind of relationship that everyone has with their close ones (family, partner and friends) will take on either one of the two between the bartender and the customer.

The one that I have with my older brother closely resembled the first situation.

Me-- in the role of bartender
Him--in the role of customer

He needs anything, he will come to me and ask for it. After which, he may A) disappear or B) pretend I'm invisible.

Occasionally, out of obligatory guilt that he may have ignored me for too long, he will try to strike up conversation. It often turns into a conversation with several long pauses and sometimes (or most of the times), into a fight.

I'm not saying everything is his fault. I had chose to give up. It seemed that after so many years of working at closing the gap between us and attempts to learn more about him which all proved indefinitely futile, I had finally just stopped trying.

There were times when he did seemed to try to care, but usually it's those times when his girlfriend was around us and suddenly, it appeared like we've been buddies our whole life.

In reality, the behavior of the second case of customer & bartender tends to annoy and disturb me. But when it comes to relationships with your close ones,I believed that this behavior when applied here will actually help to make them work. You don't necessarily have to over share, but at least muster up the courage to let others into your life and talk to them!

Strangely though, I realized there is an inverse relationship somewhere here. Those who over share at bars tends to act the exact opposite with their loved ones. But those who kept to themselves at bars are those who share aplenty and generously in their personal relationships.

Insert Equation here:

Scenarios in

where P. Life = Personal Life

It seemed like my relationship with my brother fit right into this equation.

I'm grateful that at least this is not how it's like with the important people in my life.