Inverse Relationships Involving Bartenders

There are always two kinds of people you'll see sitting alone at a bar.

1. The one who engages in friendly banter with the bartender and then orders a drink. After which, slips into a sort of meditative silence and takes a sip of his beer or whatnot now and then.

2. The second kind will be the one who comes into the bar all quiet and meek. The following may then happen before, during or after ordering the drink. He will then proceed to engage in friendly banter with the bartender afore pouring his heart out to the bartender, soul and all. By the end of that one drink and several more, the bartender will learn of the number of dogs he had, the troubling boss/wife/girlfriend at work/home/dates respectively and even of the fungus growing in between his toes.

The kind of relationship that everyone has with their close ones (family, partner and friends) will take on either one of the two between the bartender and the customer.

The one that I have with my older brother closely resembled the first situation.

Me-- in the role of bartender
Him--in the role of customer

He needs anything, he will come to me and ask for it. After which, he may A) disappear or B) pretend I'm invisible.

Occasionally, out of obligatory guilt that he may have ignored me for too long, he will try to strike up conversation. It often turns into a conversation with several long pauses and sometimes (or most of the times), into a fight.

I'm not saying everything is his fault. I had chose to give up. It seemed that after so many years of working at closing the gap between us and attempts to learn more about him which all proved indefinitely futile, I had finally just stopped trying.

There were times when he did seemed to try to care, but usually it's those times when his girlfriend was around us and suddenly, it appeared like we've been buddies our whole life.

In reality, the behavior of the second case of customer & bartender tends to annoy and disturb me. But when it comes to relationships with your close ones,I believed that this behavior when applied here will actually help to make them work. You don't necessarily have to over share, but at least muster up the courage to let others into your life and talk to them!

Strangely though, I realized there is an inverse relationship somewhere here. Those who over share at bars tends to act the exact opposite with their loved ones. But those who kept to themselves at bars are those who share aplenty and generously in their personal relationships.

Insert Equation here:

Scenarios in

where P. Life = Personal Life

It seemed like my relationship with my brother fit right into this equation.

I'm grateful that at least this is not how it's like with the important people in my life.

..Aspirations

Oh my God. My legs are still trembling. I just came back from my evening run.
For this year of '09, I had resolved to complete at least a semi marathon run of 10km. I made my decision about a month and a half ago after I broke up with my girlfriend. You can say that this is a sort of aftereffect of the breakup. I just felt like I have to change certain aspects of my life, or rather I see this as an opportunity to actually start going for the things I have always wanted to do. No more waiting and bumming around.

A marathon is one of my greatest fears. Tell anyone of my friends that I'm going to take part in one and they will laugh and snort in your face. I am the queen of comfort living. No roughing it out for me. Hence, my decision to run 10km (where the *^$# are you running to anyway? and.. here comes the questions.) surprised and upset quite a number of my friends.
I believed that if I can kick myself out of my comfort zone and actually do this, it'll be really significant to me. It'll be the first step for me to start living my life as I had always wanted to and not conforming to the shitty regulations of my Singapore society and might I add,my conservative parents. (I love my country and parents especially but sometimes I just don't get them.)

I'm on to 8km now and keeping it down to under an hour at 57 mins.
My friends are adjusting to the shock and are being bloody encouraging now. Thank you guys,Jane YJ Michelles!!!

I'm still mugging for my exams now but am trying to scrounge up whatever little money I have to go visit my friend in Korea later in June. If it doesn't work out now, I'll always find a way to get there eventually. What I have most now are hope and more optimism for the future.

Oh. And I think I'll get my navel pierced too. I have secretly wanted one ever since I was a kid and this desire was reinforced when my friend in the States flashed hers to me during the mid of Media Studies. Don't ask me why but I'm practically dying to find out if it really hurts or not and whether the piercing will appear grotesque when you remove the barbell.
Also, just to add, navel piercing is said to originate from the Spanish ethnicity where it is carried out sometimes during spiritual ceremonies. But some had evidence that the history of it stretches all the way back to ancient Egypt where only the Pharaohs and members of the Royal Family are allowed to pierce their navels.

Arg..and I think I better go stretch my legs again. I hate muscle cramps.

My Inspirations and ..

I sit here in front of my desk with my heart thumping wildly and ferociously. Okay,maybe this is a bit of an exaggeration but my heart is indeed thumping at a faster than ordinary pace.

I just finish reading some of adrianna tan's blog entries at www.popagandhi.com. This woman had traveled parts of our Asia, Barcelona and lived in Dubai for a few months as a freelance photojournalist. She had been to so many places at a mere age of 24(if i'm not wrong). She basically just decided to do something and got off her arse to do it! That's what impressed me so much about her. She may not have much idea on how she's going to earn a living doing what she loved initially but it seems to me she is already halfway to her goal. Check out her blog and you'll see what I mean.

Anyway, I came upon her blog last night and I couldn't really get to sleep after reading it. My heart was thumping still.

I was thinking "If there is someone in the world who has managed to begin the first steps to her dreams and goals, why can't I do the same?" I admired her guts and dare I say, the headstrongness,never-say-die attitude and utter determination in youths found within her. The start of things to come was basically an inspiration drawn from adrianna tan.

Thank you for calling out to the long hidden dreams and vigor and love of life that I thought had been lost to me.

My Mojo Mojo

I'm hoping to get my mojo back. I'm refering to my writing mojo,of course.

I used to be able to write a zillion pages of nonsense a couple of years back, on anything. The back of my notebooks,textbooks,sparse bits of paper and even the back of paper menus. I stopped abruptly one day and that was it. No more whimsical recordings of my thoughts and views on memories on daily occurrences. I missed those.

I have to try to remember on some days what I actually did for certain special occasions. Nothing comes to mind.

Hence, I'm picking up writing again. Mostly so I can refer back and say "Ar..This really happened?" and also, I really have to clear my head of the zillions of lines of thoughts and crap going through it.

Doesn't everyone have this problem as well?